IT'S 2008: BE REALLY MEAN

hey, out with the old!
new credo: GOTTA BE MEAN
ring in the new, bitch!

ROCKIN' NEW YEAR'S EVE

countdown 2 midnight...
happy new year, derby style:
fishnets. champagne toast.

TWISTED PROM NIGHT

bruises. bandages.
welcome to the derby dance.
shake it up, baby.

OBAMA'S DERBY TACTICS

Barack's on fire, babe!
speedy contender on skates:
vote. skate. vote some more.

SKATE 4 UR LIFE, HILLARY

Hillary: superstar?
or superfreak wannabe?
skatebabes: ROCK THE VOTE!

CROSS TOWN TRANNY

stop light. rush hour rant.
close call with tranny on skates.
i brake 4 derby.

ALL I WANT 4 CHRISTMAS...

derby Christmas wish:
build a snowman with Varla
one bad ass Frosty

DERBY: NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

cereal sirens
eat breakfast of champions
snap crackle - - pop ya!

FISHNET MUMBO JUMBO

magic fishnet girl
cast a voodoo spell on me
whirly swirly spunk

SATURDAY NIGHT VOODOO JAM

see spooks rock and roll
black magic, witchy women
oh, dark derby nights!

WHO DO VOODOO?

devilry. delights.
magic potion power jam.
spellbound, Voodoo Doll!

ROLLER VOODOO, BABY!

vicious voodoo vamps
wonderous witchcraft on wheelz
hocus! pocus! POW!

SEEING STARS

juicy contusions
black-n-blued Barbarellas
spin me, round-n-round

FROSTY'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG

frosty the snowman
joined derby just 2 meet girlz
likes fishnets, they say

MISFIT CHRISTMAS

derby dolls & elves
on island of misfit toys
load the sleigh, Santa!

HOLIDAY HALLUCINATIONS

babes in derbyland
sugar plum fairies roll
rudolph leads the pack

SKULL-N-CROSSBONES

derbyland pirates
in search of rollerbooty
skate the plank... or else!

UNLUCKY #1313

pink hair, all punk'd out
itchy trigger finger 2
BEWARE: Gun Show Poe!

BIONIC BABES

flat-track rollerbabes
bionic women on wheelz
fembots on attack!

IF ROMNEY WERE A DERBY FAN...

Mitt: time 2 lace up - -
freedom requires derby!
church and state? let's skate!

IOWA ROLLERGIRLS BACK OBAMA

Barack Obama
trades u corn 4 speedy skates
hey Iowa, vote!

HILLARY GOES HARDCORE 4 IOWA DERBYGIRLS

Hillary on skates
through fields of Iowa corn
whips and chains galore!

PSYCHO SIRENS

manic mania
derby dames on the attack
insanity reigns!

STOP, BLOCK, AND ROLL

blockers fill the pack
round and round the track they go
knock out that jammer!

J-J-J-J, JAM ON IT

jammer speedz thru pack
1 point 4 each hottie passed
superstar helmet

LEADER OF THE PACK

pivot sets the pace
sports the sexy striped helmet
last line of defense

BLOODY HELL

tuff chicks with nose bleeds
rules are meant to be broken
over and over

MEPHISTOPHELES IS NOT HER NAME

Lucy Furr's ice hot
she-devil, skate inferno
bartender of choice

BEHOLD: GIGANTOR

enormous monster.
hide the children - - such a fright!
dark creature of doom!

DINA DISCIPLINE SAVES THE DAY

discipline problem?
dig corporal punishment?
paddle of power!