Monday, December 31, 2007

IT'S 2008: BE REALLY MEAN

hey, out with the old!
new credo: GOTTA BE MEAN
ring in the new, bitch!

ROCKIN' NEW YEAR'S EVE

countdown 2 midnight...
happy new year, derby style:
fishnets. champagne toast.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

TWISTED PROM NIGHT

bruises. bandages.
welcome to the derby dance.
shake it up, baby.

Friday, December 28, 2007

OBAMA'S DERBY TACTICS

Barack's on fire, babe!
speedy contender on skates:
vote. skate. vote some more.

SKATE 4 UR LIFE, HILLARY

Hillary: superstar?
or superfreak wannabe?
skatebabes: ROCK THE VOTE!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

CROSS TOWN TRANNY

stop light. rush hour rant.
close call with tranny on skates.
i brake 4 derby.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

ALL I WANT 4 CHRISTMAS...

derby Christmas wish:
build a snowman with Varla
one bad ass Frosty

Saturday, December 22, 2007

DERBY: NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

cereal sirens
eat breakfast of champions
snap crackle - - pop ya!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

FISHNET MUMBO JUMBO

magic fishnet girl
cast a voodoo spell on me
whirly swirly spunk

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

SATURDAY NIGHT VOODOO JAM

see spooks rock and roll
black magic, witchy women
oh, dark derby nights!

Monday, December 17, 2007

WHO DO VOODOO?

devilry. delights.
magic potion power jam.
spellbound, Voodoo Doll!

ROLLER VOODOO, BABY!

vicious voodoo vamps
wonderous witchcraft on wheelz
hocus! pocus! POW!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

SEEING STARS

juicy contusions
black-n-blued Barbarellas
spin me, round-n-round

FROSTY'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG

frosty the snowman
joined derby just 2 meet girlz
likes fishnets, they say

Saturday, December 15, 2007

MISFIT CHRISTMAS

derby dolls & elves
on island of misfit toys
load the sleigh, Santa!

HOLIDAY HALLUCINATIONS

babes in derbyland
sugar plum fairies roll
rudolph leads the pack

Thursday, December 13, 2007

SKULL-N-CROSSBONES

derbyland pirates
in search of rollerbooty
skate the plank... or else!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

UNLUCKY #1313

pink hair, all punk'd out
itchy trigger finger 2
BEWARE: Gun Show Poe!

Monday, December 10, 2007

BIONIC BABES

flat-track rollerbabes
bionic women on wheelz
fembots on attack!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

IF ROMNEY WERE A DERBY FAN...

Mitt: time 2 lace up - -
freedom requires derby!
church and state? let's skate!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

IOWA ROLLERGIRLS BACK OBAMA

Barack Obama
trades u corn 4 speedy skates
hey Iowa, vote!

HILLARY GOES HARDCORE 4 IOWA DERBYGIRLS

Hillary on skates
through fields of Iowa corn
whips and chains galore!

PSYCHO SIRENS

manic mania
derby dames on the attack
insanity reigns!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

STOP, BLOCK, AND ROLL

blockers fill the pack
round and round the track they go
knock out that jammer!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

J-J-J-J, JAM ON IT

jammer speedz thru pack
1 point 4 each hottie passed
superstar helmet

LEADER OF THE PACK

pivot sets the pace
sports the sexy striped helmet
last line of defense

Monday, December 3, 2007

BLOODY HELL

tuff chicks with nose bleeds
rules are meant to be broken
over and over

Sunday, December 2, 2007

MEPHISTOPHELES IS NOT HER NAME

Lucy Furr's ice hot
she-devil, skate inferno
bartender of choice

Saturday, December 1, 2007

BEHOLD: GIGANTOR

enormous monster.
hide the children - - such a fright!
dark creature of doom!

DINA DISCIPLINE SAVES THE DAY

discipline problem?
dig corporal punishment?
paddle of power!

Friday, November 30, 2007

DERBY GIRL SMACKDOWN

battered, black-n-blue
spiral fractures, shattered bones
tie me up, let's skate!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

CHEWBLOCKA

Ohio's skate babe
fierce-n-fast: wookie on wheelz
big, bad and chewy

ODE TO STEVIE WONDER

any blind man can see
she's a bad mamma jamma
fine as she can be

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

FAST AND FURIOUS

hellions sans remorse
the Fury rage on and on
ooh wicked women!

DIRTY DOUBLE CROSSERS!

martini mobsters
murder, mayhem... flying fists
merciless mamas

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S FIRE

Hell's Belles: femmes fatales
flaming infernos roll on
mayhem on their minds

Monday, November 26, 2007

COO COO 4 COCOA PUFFS

Manic Attackers
psychopathic rollerbabes
medicated... hot!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD

dream on, Red Zeppelin
skate the Stairway to Heaven
rock, roll evermore

Friday, November 23, 2007

COLD TURKEY

Varla's off season
what's a lead jammer to do?
slice-n-dice on ice

Thursday, November 22, 2007

GOTTA BE MEAN

pretty girls go home
yoga bunnies not welcome
sk8R grlz R MEAN

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

DOUBLE DOUBLE TOIL & TROUBLE

stir it up, skatechick
round about the cauldron go
derby trouble brews

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

ODE TO DAVID BOWIE

riff raff, wannabes
derby roadkill- - step aside
slam! bam! thank you, Ma'am.

Monday, November 19, 2007

DERBY GIRLS MAKE GREAT FRIENDS

kamikazi kid
mean mama on a mission
wanna play with me?

Friday, November 16, 2007

TATTOOS IN WONDERLAND

Alice: all inked up
trippin' the light fantastic
tattooed spinster whirls

BEWARE OF BROADWAY BABE

best backoff, Buster
Phannie of the Opera
bun-blocking badass

Thursday, November 15, 2007

SHE SLICES, SHE DICES

hella-hot-tot-sy
slicin' thru pack like a knife
Ginsu girl - - chop! chop!

THE DEVIL INSIDE

flame-throwing female
voluptuous vixen vrooms!!
YO - - Belle Diablo!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

GO SPEEDRACER GO

silly Speed Racer
trade in your fast car 4 skates
and get a sex change

FANTASTIC FOLLIES

ferocious, fierce, fast
flagrant fillies need a fix
fight 2 the finish

EAT MY DUST

jammers: take ur marks
doctor vroom: fire it up!
skate 4 ur life, bitch!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

DERBY A LA MODE

steel-coated hot pants
mirrored helmet guards the goods
trendy... so tempting

Monday, November 12, 2007

ROLLER BABES ON THE CATWALK

scarred, scraped, battered, bruised
derby runway fashion plate
strike a pose - - wipe out!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

YOU'LL SEE STARS-N-STRIPES FOREVER

purple contusions
majestic mama hurls forth
Amber Waves of Pain

Saturday, November 10, 2007

DERBY OOH LA LA

fishnets and fast wheelz
bad ass girls sans Moulin Rouge
Toulouse Lautrec's dream

Friday, November 9, 2007

U BETTER U BETTER U BET

Dina Discipline
wields the paddle-o-power
best submit, sista!

BRUISO GOT BUSTED

Blossom Bruiso tossed
major penalties abound
next time, be discreet

Thursday, November 8, 2007

PLEASURE OR PAIN?

bad ass skater chick

blocks ya, rocks ya, beats ya down

hurt me, hurt u - - ouch!

MEETCHA @ THE ROLLERDISCO

Ada in hotpants

sparkly, space age underoos

gettin’ down 2nite

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

LONE STAR LOVELY

Harmadillo jams

Amid tumbling derby dames

Tuff Texas tootsie

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

HOT 4 TEACHER

broken arm bruiser

a goody-goody no more

she’s Megan Formor

Monday, November 5, 2007

AMPUTEE ACTION

Peg Legs snubs Varla
jammer-on-jammer action
pegged, pumped: limbs afire!

NOT THIS YEAR... (sigh)

Hell’s Belles, down for count

the clock is the enemy

Varla vrooms - - no dice!

HELLUVAFIGHT!

derby drama queens

fight for championship

Hell’s Belles - - double crossed!

BLACK-N-BLUE BABES

derbylicious babes

hot honeys, penalty box

knock-down, drag-out clash

Sunday, November 4, 2007

SKIRMISH IN CICERO

come 2 the showdown

a Sunday night massacre?

forecast: doomsday lurks

BATTLE OF THE BABES

rush-o-excitement

electricity in air

freak show starts @ 6!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

TALL & TORTURED

CoCo BangBang looms

over pipsqueaking rivals

6 feet-o-whoop-ass!

Friday, November 2, 2007

CUT ABOVE THE REST

furious cripple

diced up, dismembered mama

Anne Putation’s HOT!

CHILLIN’

hang with derby grlz

Cobra Lounge after the bout

Look - - but don’t dare touch!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

MOST LIKELY TO STAB SOMEONE

Varla meanz business

speed, switchblades and sweet revenge

razor sharp- - knife ya!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

SKATING WITH SCISSORS

Ava Sectomy

Freak, escapee, male menace

She’ll get ya - - snip, snip!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

FREAKY FAN

Skellatory who?

mean and scary fan unknown

chick or dude? who cares

Monday, October 29, 2007

WHATTA MEANIE

Skull-n-crossbones tat

Bad girl with a taste 4 pain

Gimme more - - or else!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

ONCE UPON A TIME

Goldie Shocks-n-rocks

happily ever after...

twisted fairytale

BLUEGRASS JIHAD

southern girl, mean streak

all “evil doers” fear her

Kentucky Dervish!

WHO DUNNIT?

Athena DeCrime

criminal justice gone bad

tall, tuff, and twisted

Saturday, October 27, 2007

TRIPPIN’ IN CICERO

go 2 the derby

watch babes rumble-n-stumble

magic carpet ride

NO PAIN, NO GAIN

got bruises galore

skating, slamming into walls

Hausa Pain bites it

LIKE NAILS IN YOUR COFFIN #999

Yvette YourMaker

mess with this chick and BEWARE- -

your days are numbered!

Friday, October 26, 2007

MIRACULOUS VENDETTA VOODOO

as Varla rolls by

Mama & Papa Doc rock - -

voodoo miracles!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

HELL’S BELLES RIP IT UP

belles bash-block-N-brawl

Varla vrooms 2 Hell & back

skates afire – 2 hot!

ODE TO BRYANT MUMBLE

sexy sweet nothings

roller girlz spin round-n-round

talk derby 2 me

MEETCHA @ DA FINALZ

Battle o’ the babes

Hell’s Belles meet Double Crossers

c u in Hell, freaks!

VOTE 4 UR FAVE GRL

favorite skater?

go vote - - early & often!

stuffed box (4 Varla)

SHE-DEVIL

Heuttenbar’s fave girl

Pours cold beer, instills pure fear

Lucy Furr spits fire!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

SWITCHBLADE SISTER

V is for Varla

speedy speedster on the track

slice ya, dice ya - - VROOM!

PUBLIC ENEMY #1

watch out! Val Capone

is on a mission tonight

knock ‘em! sock ‘em! pow!

OUTSIDER DERBY GIRL

Anita Bier, glam

art aficionado

chuggin’ & sluggin’

TUFF–N-SEXY

Dayglo Dago’s TUFF:

spiral fracture 2 the leg

sidelined, sexy boots

ODE 2 SHEIK YERBOUTI

16 hot wheelz roll

fight 4 lead jammer status

finger of power!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

HOLY ROLLER

almighty Varla

Chicago’s holy roller

miracle on wheelz

PRIDE OF INDIANA

snap crackle and pop

Hoosier Mama rounds the curve

she’s powered by corn

LUV 2 LUV U

Fishnets tattered, torn

Babes chase babes, round in circles

Glimpse spinning lovelies

SPEED RACER

Racer McChaseHer

Speedy Motown hotrod blasts

Past Sin City babes

HOT WHEELZ VENDETTA

superpowered chick

bum-blocking beyond belief

she makes bad girls cry

DADDY'S SIN CITY NEANDERDOLL

Offer or warning?

Reckless skating babe –

Ivanna S Pankin

OOH LA LA

superfantastic

hot girls, fishnets, tattoos, more

derbymania

MALICE

Finger of power

Malice with Chains takes the lead

She’s mean on green skates

R U TUFF ENUFF?

lead jammer match up:

Anne Putation meets Peg Legs

dismembered by choice

WATCH OUT, No. 25

varla vendetta

cuts through the pack like a knife

wonder on eight wheels