IT'S 2008: BE REALLY MEAN

hey, out with the old!
new credo: GOTTA BE MEAN
ring in the new, bitch!

ROCKIN' NEW YEAR'S EVE

countdown 2 midnight...
happy new year, derby style:
fishnets. champagne toast.

TWISTED PROM NIGHT

bruises. bandages.
welcome to the derby dance.
shake it up, baby.

OBAMA'S DERBY TACTICS

Barack's on fire, babe!
speedy contender on skates:
vote. skate. vote some more.

ALL I WANT 4 CHRISTMAS...

derby Christmas wish:
build a snowman with Varla
one bad ass Frosty

DERBY: NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE

cereal sirens
eat breakfast of champions
snap crackle - - pop ya!

FISHNET MUMBO JUMBO

magic fishnet girl
cast a voodoo spell on me
whirly swirly spunk

SATURDAY NIGHT VOODOO JAM

see spooks rock and roll
black magic, witchy women
oh, dark derby nights!

WHO DO VOODOO?

devilry. delights.
magic potion power jam.
spellbound, Voodoo Doll!

ROLLER VOODOO, BABY!

vicious voodoo vamps
wonderous witchcraft on wheelz
hocus! pocus! POW!

SEEING STARS

juicy contusions
black-n-blued Barbarellas
spin me, round-n-round

FROSTY'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG

frosty the snowman
joined derby just 2 meet girlz
likes fishnets, they say

MISFIT CHRISTMAS

derby dolls & elves
on island of misfit toys
load the sleigh, Santa!

HOLIDAY HALLUCINATIONS

babes in derbyland
sugar plum fairies roll
rudolph leads the pack

SKULL-N-CROSSBONES

derbyland pirates
in search of rollerbooty
skate the plank... or else!

UNLUCKY #1313

pink hair, all punk'd out
itchy trigger finger 2
BEWARE: Gun Show Poe!

BIONIC BABES

flat-track rollerbabes
bionic women on wheelz
fembots on attack!

IF ROMNEY WERE A DERBY FAN...

Mitt: time 2 lace up - -
freedom requires derby!
church and state? let's skate!

IOWA ROLLERGIRLS BACK OBAMA

Barack Obama
trades u corn 4 speedy skates
hey Iowa, vote!

PSYCHO SIRENS

manic mania
derby dames on the attack
insanity reigns!

STOP, BLOCK, AND ROLL

blockers fill the pack
round and round the track they go
knock out that jammer!

J-J-J-J, JAM ON IT

jammer speedz thru pack
1 point 4 each hottie passed
superstar helmet

LEADER OF THE PACK

pivot sets the pace
sports the sexy striped helmet
last line of defense

BLOODY HELL

tuff chicks with nose bleeds
rules are meant to be broken
over and over

MEPHISTOPHELES IS NOT HER NAME

Lucy Furr's ice hot
she-devil, skate inferno
bartender of choice

BEHOLD: GIGANTOR

enormous monster.
hide the children - - such a fright!
dark creature of doom!

DINA DISCIPLINE SAVES THE DAY

discipline problem?
dig corporal punishment?
paddle of power!

CHEWBLOCKA

Ohio's skate babe
fierce-n-fast: wookie on wheelz
big, bad and chewy

ODE TO STEVIE WONDER

any blind man can see
she's a bad mamma jamma
fine as she can be

FAST AND FURIOUS

hellions sans remorse
the Fury rage on and on
ooh wicked women!

DIRTY DOUBLE CROSSERS!

martini mobsters
murder, mayhem... flying fists
merciless mamas

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S FIRE

Hell's Belles: femmes fatales
flaming infernos roll on
mayhem on their minds

COO COO 4 COCOA PUFFS

Manic Attackers
psychopathic rollerbabes
medicated... hot!

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD

dream on, Red Zeppelin
skate the Stairway to Heaven
rock, roll evermore

COLD TURKEY

Varla's off season
what's a lead jammer to do?
slice-n-dice on ice

GOTTA BE MEAN

pretty girls go home
yoga bunnies not welcome
sk8R grlz R MEAN

DOUBLE DOUBLE TOIL & TROUBLE

stir it up, skatechick
round about the cauldron go
derby trouble brews

ODE TO DAVID BOWIE

riff raff, wannabes
derby roadkill- - step aside
slam! bam! thank you, Ma'am.

DERBY GIRLS MAKE GREAT FRIENDS

kamikazi kid
mean mama on a mission
wanna play with me?

TATTOOS IN WONDERLAND

Alice: all inked up
trippin' the light fantastic
tattooed spinster whirls

BEWARE OF BROADWAY BABE

best backoff, Buster
Phannie of the Opera
bun-blocking badass

THE DEVIL INSIDE

flame-throwing female
voluptuous vixen vrooms!!
YO - - Belle Diablo!!!

FANTASTIC FOLLIES

ferocious, fierce, fast
flagrant fillies need a fix
fight 2 the finish

DERBY A LA MODE

steel-coated hot pants
mirrored helmet guards the goods
trendy... so tempting

ROLLER BABES ON THE CATWALK

scarred, scraped, battered, bruised
derby runway fashion plate
strike a pose - - wipe out!

YOU'LL SEE STARS-N-STRIPES FOREVER

purple contusions
majestic mama hurls forth
Amber Waves of Pain

DERBY OOH LA LA

fishnets and fast wheelz
bad ass girls sans Moulin Rouge
Toulouse Lautrec's dream

U BETTER U BETTER U BET

Dina Discipline
wields the paddle-o-power
best submit, sista!

BRUISO GOT BUSTED

Blossom Bruiso tossed
major penalties abound
next time, be discreet

MEETCHA @ THE ROLLERDISCO

Ada in hotpants

sparkly, space age underoos

gettin’ down 2nite

LONE STAR LOVELY

Harmadillo jams

Amid tumbling derby dames

Tuff Texas tootsie

HOT 4 TEACHER

broken arm bruiser

a goody-goody no more

she’s Megan Formor

AMPUTEE ACTION

Peg Legs snubs Varla
jammer-on-jammer action
pegged, pumped: limbs afire!

NOT THIS YEAR... (sigh)

Hell’s Belles, down for count

the clock is the enemy

Varla vrooms - - no dice!

HELLUVAFIGHT!

derby drama queens

fight for championship

Hell’s Belles - - double crossed!

BLACK-N-BLUE BABES

derbylicious babes

hot honeys, penalty box

knock-down, drag-out clash

SKIRMISH IN CICERO

come 2 the showdown

a Sunday night massacre?

forecast: doomsday lurks

BATTLE OF THE BABES

rush-o-excitement

electricity in air

freak show starts @ 6!

TALL & TORTURED

CoCo BangBang looms

over pipsqueaking rivals

6 feet-o-whoop-ass!

CUT ABOVE THE REST

furious cripple

diced up, dismembered mama

Anne Putation’s HOT!

MOST LIKELY TO STAB SOMEONE

Varla meanz business

speed, switchblades and sweet revenge

razor sharp- - knife ya!

SKATING WITH SCISSORS

Ava Sectomy

Freak, escapee, male menace

She’ll get ya - - snip, snip!

ONCE UPON A TIME

Goldie Shocks-n-rocks

happily ever after...

twisted fairytale

BLUEGRASS JIHAD

southern girl, mean streak

all “evil doers” fear her

Kentucky Dervish!

WHO DUNNIT?

Athena DeCrime

criminal justice gone bad

tall, tuff, and twisted

TRIPPIN’ IN CICERO

go 2 the derby

watch babes rumble-n-stumble

magic carpet ride

NO PAIN, NO GAIN

got bruises galore

skating, slamming into walls

Hausa Pain bites it

LIKE NAILS IN YOUR COFFIN #999

Yvette YourMaker

mess with this chick and BEWARE- -

your days are numbered!

MIRACULOUS VENDETTA VOODOO

as Varla rolls by

Mama & Papa Doc rock - -

voodoo miracles!

HELL’S BELLES RIP IT UP

belles bash-block-N-brawl

Varla vrooms 2 Hell & back

skates afire – 2 hot!

ODE TO BRYANT MUMBLE

sexy sweet nothings

roller girlz spin round-n-round

talk derby 2 me

MEETCHA @ DA FINALZ

Battle o’ the babes

Hell’s Belles meet Double Crossers

c u in Hell, freaks!

VOTE 4 UR FAVE GRL

favorite skater?

go vote - - early & often!

stuffed box (4 Varla)

SHE-DEVIL

Heuttenbar’s fave girl

Pours cold beer, instills pure fear

Lucy Furr spits fire!

SWITCHBLADE SISTER

V is for Varla

speedy speedster on the track

slice ya, dice ya - - VROOM!

PUBLIC ENEMY #1

watch out! Val Capone

is on a mission tonight

knock ‘em! sock ‘em! pow!

OUTSIDER DERBY GIRL

Anita Bier, glam

art aficionado

chuggin’ & sluggin’

TUFF–N-SEXY

Dayglo Dago’s TUFF:

spiral fracture 2 the leg

sidelined, sexy boots

ODE 2 SHEIK YERBOUTI

16 hot wheelz roll

fight 4 lead jammer status

finger of power!

HOLY ROLLER

almighty Varla

Chicago’s holy roller

miracle on wheelz

PRIDE OF INDIANA

snap crackle and pop

Hoosier Mama rounds the curve

she’s powered by corn

LUV 2 LUV U

Fishnets tattered, torn

Babes chase babes, round in circles

Glimpse spinning lovelies

SPEED RACER

Racer McChaseHer

Speedy Motown hotrod blasts

Past Sin City babes

HOT WHEELZ VENDETTA

superpowered chick

bum-blocking beyond belief

she makes bad girls cry

DADDY'S SIN CITY NEANDERDOLL

Offer or warning?

Reckless skating babe –

Ivanna S Pankin

OOH LA LA

superfantastic

hot girls, fishnets, tattoos, more

derbymania

MALICE

Finger of power

Malice with Chains takes the lead

She’s mean on green skates

R U TUFF ENUFF?

lead jammer match up:

Anne Putation meets Peg Legs

dismembered by choice

WATCH OUT, No. 25

varla vendetta

cuts through the pack like a knife

wonder on eight wheels